On wanting

and bringing back yearning

Jul 16, 2025

“Would it be too childish of me to say: I want? But I do want: theatre, light, color, paintings, wine and wonder.”
—Sylvia Plath

Is it just me, or is anyone else feeling quite…unsettled?

Antsy, angsty, bored, yearning—wanting?

I have this gnawing ache deep in my belly.
To make art.
To love hard.
To be free.
To live flippantly, full of light and whimsy.

I know I can live like this every day, no matter where I am (and I try). But it comes a little more naturally when I’m traveling.

I keep imagining the things I want: romance, passion, beauty, a sort of joie de vivre. What I keep envisioning is a large table in an earthy backyard, full of my friends, family, neighbors, eating and drinking and laughing. Everyone is invited. Everyone is welcome.

**Honestly, I want to write about ten different topics right now and can’t quite pinpoint a single focus, so if this piece feels all over the place… I apologize in advance. Substack is basically just our personal diary anyway, right?**

I don’t know if I’d call myself an extrovert. Maybe more of an extroverted introvert? I crave stimulating conversation about life and love and sex and travel and money and death and books and movies and poetry and music.

I love watching people light up when they talk about something they care about. The way their eyes sparkle. Watching their face contort into different expressions. Their hands move along to their stories. How their voice slows and softens when something’s tender or heavy—then lifts, quickens, when they’re excited, passionate, on fire with feeling.

I feel infinitely charged up by the right energy, but absolutely drained by the wrong energy—so I have to choose very wisely.

After a good social hang, I need a few days to decompress. I retreat to my room, read something, take Shep on a long run with my favorite playlist, rewatch old films, send dumb memes to friends. I think about myself. How I’m feeling. What I’m wanting.

Then, I’ll be social again. The cycle repeats. It’s a good balance for me because there was once a time in my life where I felt like I needed to be around people constantly, and then there was a time in my life where I pushed everyone away and became a grumpy recluse, barely venturing out of my room. Both extremes were not ideal. So I’ve settled on somewhere in the middle.

But I have to say something… and I know it might sting, but:

Gen Z is a boring bunch.

I know. But this whole thing where no one wants to be “cringe,” where everyone's okay with rotting in bed behind their phones or binge-watching TV instead of getting out in the world is just so boring.

Don’t you want?
Don’t you yearn?

Listen, I love a lazy day in bed as much as anyone. But I also want to dance all night with a few friends and cocktails and chain-smoke like I’m 22 sometimes. Sew me!

Because to be a good writer—hell, to be a full human—you have to live a full life. And to me, that means traveling the world, exploring different cultures, seeing extreme poverty and wealth and trying different foods and learning new words and socializing with strangers and living out of a van and falling in love and getting my heart broken and doing it all again and again and again.

Without that, what the hell are we even writing about?

I get it though. Maybe we’re all just… tired. Burnt out. Broke. Depressed. Maybe technology ruined everything and watching Tiktok and Netflix instead of being outside in the world is just basic level comfort now.

But I remember being in my twenties, feeling like I wanted to devour the world. I laughed, I cried, I felt intensely, I loved intensely and fought intensely and went out with my friends constantly and took trips constantly and could barely sit still. And yes, I’ve mellowed in my thirties, but the hunger is still there. More intentional, but just as feral.

And when I look around at some (not all!) Gen Z’ers… I don’t see that. I see self-surveillance. I see aesthetic over feeling, people judging from the sidelines. Too scared to emote. To live outside of the box that society has made for them. Following an arbitrary set of rules.

They’ve become the new boomers, in a way.

Where’s the passion? The mess? The risk?

I want to bring back y e a r n i n g. Wanting. Risk-taking. Putting yourself out there. Making mistakes. Wearing your heart on your sleeve. Being cringe. Being honest. Laughing at yourself. Starting over.

Curiosity is honestly so fucking hot!!!

We’d all benefit from logging off more and listening to that little fire in our belly. The one begging us to do something. Try something. Make something. Meet someone.

Everyone feels so robotic and insufferable online. And sure, there are plenty of insufferable people out in the real world too—but I’m craving people with zest. Where are my zesty people at?

IRL > URL.

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